True
you're all wrong the earth isn't flat or round. It's fucked

Uno reverse card
Plumber: I finally unclogged your toilet *Card declines* Plumber:

Keep distance!
BMW Driver Me

Lizard power
He's not your dad. 9GAG My dad told me you're spying on us.

Excel is nice
microsoft excel 10 hours a day for the rest of your life some fish with the audacity to crawl onto land CONSULTING HUMOR

Oh wait
No way, I wouldn't steal your lighter. Wait..it's here in my pocket

Grammar is important
When you meow at your owner for food, but instead he meows back at you with 13 grammatical errors

Instant rich
Bank: How will you be paying back this loan? Me: I liked one of those

Remember?
Nobody: 90's Rappers in music videos:

It is easy
How to address all Genders so nobody gets offended. Attention, all fairy tale things.